Hey Bernie, how the hell are you, brother?
I heard about you and Jane buying a new home on the beach and I couldn’t stop smiling, thinking about you out there chillin, grandkids running around, toes in the sand, drinking a Heady Topper or two, or three, or four, reflecting over the past year and a half.
Even though I dedicated my entire life to getting you elected, there was always this small part of me that wanted you to just go home and relax.
I worried about you.
You were working so hard that I feared that you would burn yourself out.
So the thought of you relaxing makes me extremely happy.
A few months ago, you asked me to vote for Hillary Clinton and because I hold you in such high esteem, I actually considered it.
I read the articles you wrote about it and I agree with you on many points.
It’s true, that if Donald Trump were to become president, America would be in for some hard times.
I read your book and I remember the sleepless nights you had agonizing over endorsing Bill Clinton, while the raccoon stirred in your attic.
I remember that you ultimately endorsed him, because you knew that Bob Dole would cut Social Security, but then you seemed to have some regret over it once NAFTA was enacted.
I know a lot of fair-weather people turned on you after the Hillary endorsement, but not me.
I totally get it.
You were in a really tough position and I admire you for doing what you felt was best.
But I can’t bring myself to vote for Hillary Clinton.
The time for lesser-evilism is over.
Times are desperate.
“Enough is enough.” right?
“Millions of people standing together.” right?
“Political revolution.” right?
I have imaginary conversations with you all the time.
We are sitting on the beach, waves calmly crashing into the shore.
Killer Mike is on his way over with a blunt behind his ear.
Mike and I are going to walk on down the beach and build up an appetite, before we start grilling out.
We will invite you to walk with us, but you will stay back and get the fire started.
In our conversations, you tell me why it is important to vote for Hillary and I tell you why I struggle with this idea.
You talk to me about the importance of Supreme Court judges and I agree with you completely, but I have to counter with Hillary Clinton’s support for TPP.
You and I both know that Clinton is the Trojan horse for this horrible trade agreement.
You and I both know that she is lying about opposing it.
You and I both saw the secret emails where she urged Congress to pass it.
And we both know that TPP is so powerful that it would take away much of the Supreme Court’s power anyway.
You tell me that a Trump presidency would mean losing all the progress we have made over the last decade and I mostly agree with you, but then I remind you that the Democrats will always run on the lesser of two evils ideology and that we have to take a stand against it at some point and that we are running out of time.
I remind you that you have been saying for decades that we need a third-party in America and that there will never be a better time than now.
I remind you that you called the Democrats “ideologically bankrupt” and that you made a point to stay out of their party for nearly your entire career.
In our conversation, you are not actually arguing with me.
You are arguing against your own words.
I keep quoting you back to you.
You keep giving me a pained smile.
You’re getting tired of my Bernie knowledge.
You’d probably rather argue with Alan Greenspan for another eight and a half hours.
In our imaginary conversations, we both admit that the choice between Trump and Clinton is not a good one.
We both end up temporarily discouraged and exasperated.
We both end up saying that we have to take massive action to ensure that this doesn’t happen again.
Then your grandkids all come running out in little Jill Stein T-Shirts.
I gave them to Jane, while you were in the restroom and asked her to send the kids out when I gave the signal.
Jane agrees with me on this one, Bernie.
And she promised the grandkids ice-cream if they would chant “Jill not Hill!!”
And Killer Mike just pulled up.
We have you outnumbered.
This is an intervention.
Back in reality, I agree with you wholeheartedly that a Trump presidency would be a disaster.
Having this maniac with the nuclear codes and the ability to nominate conservative judges scares the hell out of me.
But Jill is right, when she says..
“What we fear from Donald Trump, we have already seen from Hillary Clinton.”
Trump threatens to kill terrorist’s families and Hillary has already killed over a million innocent civilians in Honduras, Iraq and Libya.
Trump is a climate change denier.
Hillary Clinton takes millions from the fossil-fuel lobby and has no real climate plan.
Trump makes disgusting sexist comments.
Hillary silences her husband’s sexual assault victims.
We could compare and contrast all day, but all it would do is remind us that the choice between Trump and Clinton is no choice at all.
If this election has taught us anything, it’s that America is locked into a corporate duopoly, where the people are not being represented by their government and that this has to change.
Had we made our stand in 2012, the Green Party would have been a prominent party now.
You wouldn’t have had to run on the Democratic ticket and they would not have been allowed to abuse you the way that they did.
We cannot continue down this path any longer, my friend.
When you see what NAFTA did to cities like Flint and Detroit, do you still feel that endorsing Bill Clinton was right for America?
When you see how his crime bill decimated hundreds of thousands of black families, do you still feel that endorsing him ended up being the best move?
When you see how his repeal of Glass-Steagall lead to millions of Americans losing their homes and ultimately lead to a Wall Street bailout that the American people will be paying for, for the rest of their lives, do you still feel like lesser-evilism actually helped our country?
Would Bob Dole have been any worse?
Or would he have been equally bad for America, but just in different ways?
I know you see this, my brilliant friend.
The Republicans move to the right and the Democrats move in lockstep with them.
They always scream from the rooftops
“We aren’t as evil as the Republicans”
And Americans line up to buy the same lies every four years..
Because the alternative, on the surface at least, is so much worse.
As a result of this never-ending compromise, Americans are left feeling betrayed by the repeated broken promises of hope and this ultimately leads to a voter apathy so great, that the people barely have a voice at this point.
Is that really what you want to endorse?
The Bernie Sanders that I fell in love with was a man who stared into the face of evil and refused to blink.
The Bernie Sanders who inspired me was a man who said that people who suppress voting are “political cowards”.
The Bernie Sanders who got me off my ass and out knocking on doors was a man who stood opposite of Hillary Clinton and the multinational corporations she represents.
You said “Enough is enough”, Bernie..
And we listened.
Don’t ask us to vote out of fear, when you told us to stand together to fight against the 1%.
Don’t ask us to vote for everything you have rebelled against for the past fifty years.
Don’t ask us to get blood on our hands supporting Hillary’s next huge, genocidal business opportunity.
You’re too good for that.
There has never been a better time than now to tell the establishment to fuck right off.
Based on everything that you have said…
Based on everything you have stood for..
Based on the fact that Jill Stein embodies the same revolutionary spirit that you have spent your entire life representing..
The choice is clear.
Bernie Sanders, I really think you should vote for Jill Stein.